I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
