just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize