I want to walk on stilts...naked
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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