My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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