I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
