soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it glows. i had to have it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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