This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
