whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
