I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Blood and glitter go together right?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
