Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
