Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
