and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
