get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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