I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
