i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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