Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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