no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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