so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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