did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
