We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
