i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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