Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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