the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
