we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
