seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
