It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
