...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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