Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
