It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
