So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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