Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he shaved USA in his pubs
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
