I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize