Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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