I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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