You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
