She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
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