; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
