they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
