i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize