She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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