god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize