Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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