$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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