Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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