The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Randomize