Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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