Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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