Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
