Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
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