well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
