I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
