no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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