I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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