Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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