Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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