i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
