I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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