were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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