i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
