Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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