when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
