And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Houston, we have a squirter
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
