I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize